It is often the first and most uncomfortable question in a spa: Do you prefer a male or female masseur? This question is not very "woke", but it is still being asked. Different thoughts may be swirling through your head.

For many women, it raises questions about her own body and about safety: will a male masseur be attracted to me? What if I forgot to shave my legs? Soon he will see my pregnancy scars. For many men it makes them self-confident and assertive: is a female masseur strong enough? If I choose a man, will he think I'm gay? What if I get excited?

Actually, this article is somewhat sexist in nature and you cannot say that there are pros and cons between male and female masseurs, only pros and cons between individuals and their talents. But because it is an important consideration for many people, and the most important search terms for my website are the combination “man” and “masseur”, I thought it would be a good idea to ask around about the reason for choosing a male masseur. . Thank you for your candid responses (all of which have been made anonymous).

For me, my religion was the most determining factor in choosing a male masseur. The concept of negiah, which I practice as an Orthodox Jew, limits physical contact between people of the opposite sex who are not related by blood or marriage. Incidentally, Islam also forbids a man to touch a woman who is not in his family, so Muslims, like me, will also opt for a masseur of their own gender (man, 29 years old).

To be honest, when I first came to you, I thought after entering, I should have chosen a female masseur after all. I noticed that I was getting a bit nervous, because I thought you were an attractive man. As a result, I became critical of my own appearance and I was less able to relax in the beginning (woman, aged 62).

My previous masseur was a woman, with her it was like at the hairdresser, I could vent my whole heart and I was chatting during the massage. I chose you because a friend told me that your touch can be loving and gentle as well as with deep pressure. I like that variety and I have not yet found that with a female masseur. The peace and quiet of a man during the massage is actually nicer than all that chatter between women (woman, 35 years old).

The most common reason is that masseurs are stronger and can give a deeper massage.

I exercise intensively and have often been massaged, but what is called a sports massage sometimes looks more like a pet. Especially with female masseurs, too little pressure is applied. Men are generally taller and therefore have more physical strength. That's why I wanted to see if I could get a solid massage from a man. When I came in I was a bit disappointed because you don't look like a big strong man. But still, the pressure was good and I felt the massage work deep into my muscle tissue and after a few massages my sports performance improved (man, 39 years old).

I just like a very firm massage and had been suffering from several stubborn knots for a while. As a physiotherapist I know that this calls for deeper tissue stimulation. Unfortunately, after a solid massage from a fellow physiotherapist, I was in a lot of pain the next few days, so that was a bit too much. I therefore went looking for someone with more massage experience who can give firm massages with care and that is how I ended up with you (woman, 44 years old).

Whether it is true that only male masseurs can work deeper is very much the question. Really good massage is about the way you use your body weight, with leverage. It doesn't matter if you are male or female. You just have to be good at using your whole body while massaging.

I've had several massages with women and while they were good, they just weren't satisfying and the long term effect was limited. I put aside my discomfort about being naked with and being touched by a man. And since then I have nothing but male masseurs, not only with you but also when I am abroad. I prefer deep tissue massages and in my experience male masseurs are not only stronger, but also less restrained and not afraid to put extra force and hang their full weight on me. With you I can let go completely because you always ask me to let you know when it gets too painful. Nowadays I also go naked on the table, because you have also helped me to be more relaxed about nudity among men and to see this separately from sexuality. I now dare to simply enjoy the experience more (man, age 55).

The vast majority of masseurs, also in the Netherlands, are women. It is precisely for this reason that some choose a man.

Since the majority of masseurs are women, men who work in the massage business have to be even better and provide top notch customer service every time to survive. To get a chance, they will have to build up a lot of experience and follow a lot of training. I saw that with you too, with your impressive list of courses and great references. After my first session I was immediately convinced, male masseurs are more professional, friendlier and more caring, they try harder than their female colleagues (female, 46 years old).

Some men expect more empathy from another man than from a woman.

As a roofer I do a lot of physically demanding work. I'm not saying that women can't perform these tasks, but let's face it, this work involves almost only men. That's why I expected more and a better understanding of how I feel after a hard working week from a male masseurs. When I come in and you say: Well, you look like you could use a good back massage, I know I'm in good hands (man, age 53).

The fear of stiff and embarrassing situations can also be an important reason to choose a male masseur.

I never took massages because I was afraid of getting turned on. When I'm being massaged by a man I don't feel sexually attracted. That's why the chance of getting excited seemed to me to be a lot smaller. When my body reacted during the massage by you, you immediately reassured me by indicating that the blood will flow more, also to your private parts. Your relaxed attitude allowed me to relax in it and let the excitement come and go, which was nice (male, age 37).

I have had a massage from a woman a few times over the past few years, on my business trips abroad. Very pleasant, but because of certain touches I quickly became sensually stimulated. This evoked a sense of shame in me, something that I then try to hide so that I could enjoy the massage less. After reading your website I hoped to be able to put this shame aside with a man. And it was indeed pure enjoyment, nice to be able to feel my body so well and to really relax (man, 31 years old).

Prudishness can sometimes be an obstacle to feeling completely free and exposing yourself. Male masseurs who are more open-minded are chosen to be yourself without taboo, even when there is excitement.

The biggest advantage of a man-on-man massage is that I am not covered, which a female masseur always does. Lying naked on the massage table gives me a freer feeling and you can reach my whole body more easily. Women who allow me to be massaged naked don't get close to muscle groups that can cause an erection. This leaves these areas untreated. Often my thighs are tense and this is also a sensitive area. I notice that you as a male masseur have no problem at all with massaging my groin and adductors, even though it turns me on. When I got a little excited with a female masseur, she immediately got upset and very convulsively covered everything right away. What nonsense, that excitement does go away when you go to other body parts (man, 42 years old).

I was very happy to find a male masseur with whom I feel completely comfortable. I'm a straight man who gets turned on quite easily and it's not because I think about sex when I get a massage. If a woman massages me, she'll probably think I want more from her, but my erection means nothing. A man like you knows that it is very normal, it does not matter whether you are gay or straight because I just come for a relaxing massage. Precisely because people are so normal about it and no comment is made when my penis starts to prance now and then, I can relax more. Partly thanks to the fact that you are discreet and everything can be discussed, I have overcome my insecurities and shyness about my high libido (man, 30 years old).

Excitement can also be complicated and distract from relaxation. Then a somewhat more detached attitude like many women is pleasant.

I like massages from both men and women. I am more relaxed with female massage therapists, because I assume that she will not get excited about giving a massage. I'm more wary with a male massage therapist, I was with you in the beginning too. Still I came back, even though there were voices like what does he think of my body? Am I too old? Too heavy? Does he find me attractive? What if he gets excited later? I also thought it was a bit exciting and maybe that's why I came back. You came closer than female masseurs, which was nice but also made me wonder: How close are the hands to my pelvis, to my breasts? I'm not going to get damp later, then the sheet will also get damp. But I could always let it go. And I allow myself to enjoy, including my fantasies (female, age 60).

Attraction can also have a positive effect on the experience of the massage. A male body simply feels different from a female body, so it can make a big difference, especially with more intimate massages.

Many of my girlfriends think it's weird that I go to a male masseur. But it's absolutely okay for a woman to choose that. For years I prefer to go to men for a good massage, it just feels better. I have tried many masseurs over the years and settled on you. I must confess that I feel more comfortable with male than female masseurs, my body reacts differently, more intensely. I'm sure I'm not the only one who prefers to receive touch from the opposite sex. That's how nature works and that's totally okay (woman, age 28).

I am a married woman and I like to be pampered once in a while. Sometimes I'm hungry for a man's touch. By now I trust you with my eyes closed and I just love to feel your firm tight body, muscular arms removing all the stress and pain from my body. I've noticed that I enjoy a man's body touching me more. Male masseurs not only have strong hands and strength. They also generally have more stamina than women. As you know, I prefer to book a 3-hour treatment and I notice how nice it is to notice that you are not tired after 2,5 hours. But most importantly, I love to feel the experience of male hands and a male body against me. It always feels like an adventure to let a man handle his body, for example to feel a bare chest against me (woman, age 56).

I took a full body massage from man to man because I wanted to experience what it's like to have my intimate parts massaged. A man knows better what to do with a penis massage, I think. Moreover, this also seemed exciting to me. It was the first time for me that a man massaged my whole body without missing anything. I wouldn't want that with a woman other than my own wife. Even my prostate was massaged, my penis and entire pelvic area was wonderfully pampered and touched in unexpected ways, which almost brought me to a climax but you stopped just in time. Only a man can do such a mastery, I can recommend it to everyone, but yes, you don't often talk about this at the coffee machine at work. Every time it is super nice to feel strong hands on my oiled body. A man simply knows better what another man likes and what feels good (man, 35 years old).

With home massages, it can be quite a barrier to let a man into your home. Yet I am regularly asked for home treatments, both for men and women.

I wanted to receive a massage at my home but couldn't find a female masseur who offers it. You were recommended by a good friend so at least not a complete stranger, but I was still a little nervous. You came in with the massage table and put it in my bedroom. That felt quite private, especially when I let you shower in my bathroom and then you walked out of the bathroom in your underpants. I lay face down on the table. You took off my socks with warm, firm hands and rubbed my feet warm. The caress of my feet made me feel a soft sensation in my crotch. My whole backside was thoroughly done with a scented oil and firm hands and that sensation only increased. It felt completely different from massages I had received from women. When I had to turn around I tried to calm my boner by thinking about bad things but that didn't help. You reassured me and pressed gently on my chest, stomach and arms. It felt very loving, something I didn't expect from a men's massage. Now I know why many people prefer a male masseur (man, 56 years old).

Reading this last comment, I don't think it's because of my being a man, but more because of the loving attention that makes the experience special. In short: The click with the masseur is very important. But whether the masseur is a man or a woman, it's all in the technique a masseur uses, the attention that is given and the talent they have. I will never try to convince anyone to go to a man and I hope every client realizes that in the end there is no real difference between male and female masseurs.