Neptune Wellbeing

What is Mindful Masturbation? 

Loving and satisfying yourself while raising your awareness. In mindful masturbation, the focus is not on getting off as soon as possible, but on enjoying your sex parts and your whole body in the moment. 

What Can I Learn When I Masturbate Mindful?

You learn more about what brings you to climax. And more importantly, you will discover the magic of "arrousal", excitement, a powerful way to feel a deep connection with yourself. It allows you to figure out what you want without depending on anyone else. 

Learn how to stay present in the moment, how to consciously feel your body and experiment with it. You can see it as a short inner journey, enjoying every moment. We are often used to masturbate in the same way all the time because you know that it works, but it also makes you come quickly and we don't want that. Therefore, approach masturbation with an open and curious mind, it helps you to discover new things and feel better about yourself. You can stimulate yourself in other ways, with attention and love and playfulness, so that you experience more pleasure in touching yourself. 

Mindful masturbation was quite a journey of discovery. Once I went for it I started playing out with different scenarios in my head. I touched my body in other ways. I teased myself. I masturbated with my other hand. I turned the light on or off, with a candle lit or in the bathroom, in front of the mirror. It took practice. Every time I just wanted to make it to the finish line, I slowed down and focused back on the ultimate goal: connection. By trying so much new, I interacted with myself in a completely different way. I started to love myself more and move around the world differently, with more confidence, and more like a sexual being. I felt more and more liberation and I looked forward to my masturbation moments more and more. ”

Rea Frey is the author of Because You're Mine

How much time should I allow for mindful masturbation?

Really take your time, at least half an hour. Deal with it like when you make love to someone else. Unfortunately, there are always reasons not to take that time. We blame our lack of mindfulness or self-love on being too busy. In the meantime, we spend hours a day on social media, Netflix and television. You really don't need more time for mindfulness and awareness. You don't have to stop everything and sit cross-legged for an hour to reap the benefits of mindfulness in your life. Mindfulness is simply the art of being present in your body at any time. And what better time and place to do that than while masturbating?

“Self-pleasure is one of the most powerful and radical things a woman can do in this world. We make time for the things that are important to us. Therefore, give yourself permission to spend time on your own pleasure. "

Rena McDaniel, M.Ed., clinical sexologist

Create your private session

Below you can read how to create your own special moment to love yourself and masturbate with yourself with extra attention and mindfulness.

Preparation

Schedule enough time. Although you might normally be through with yourself after 30 minutes, take at least XNUMX minutes for this act of self-love. And make sure you can't be disturbed. Door locked, phone on silent. Make sure you have everything you need to experiment. Think of: toys, dildo, oil, lubricant (preferably on a silicone basis), towel, etc. That way you don't have to interrupt a session with yourself. 

Forget the porn

Maybe you normally enjoy watching or listening to porn while masturbating. This time, leave out the porn so you can better feel what turns you on.

Meditation

Always start with a meditation, taking a deeper breath. Breathing helps you shift your focus from your thoughts to your body. Then you can move your body slowly, such as in a movement meditation or during yoga. You can also do a more active warm up, with jumping, squats, and swinging your arms. Or wake up your body with sound, movement and caresses. Everything helps to get less into your head and more into your body.

Standing in front of the mirror

All positive sexual experiences start by loving yourself first. Therefore, try this exercise. Stand naked in front of a mirror and really take the time to look at yourself naked. Name three things you really like about your body. It can be as simple as, "I love my eyes" or "I love how strong my arms are." Anything to put you in a positive space for self-love. Now close your eyes and use your other hand to stimulate yourself. You come out of “autopilot” and really tune in to how you feel. Don't be surprised if this takes time to experience an orgasm because it is new.

Loving touch

Gradually we start to lovingly touch ourselves. During this exploration of your body you visualize your own body, your skin, your muscles, your sensitive areas and your hand touching your skin. Then imagine every touch or feeling as a colored light shining into your body. The color symbolizes a certain feeling, a degree of intensity, of warmth and excitement. 

Stimulation of the genitalia

Then you massage your own balls, perineum the edge of the anus and finally your penis. Close your eyes and use your other hand than you are used to to stimulate your penis. This way you get out of the “automatic pilot” and really tune in to how you feel. Start exploring. Take at least 15 minutes to explore curiously. Grab a handheld mirror and get acquainted not only with the feel, but also with the appearance of your sexual parts. Slowly move your torso, chest, stomach and thighs.
Also keep touching the rest of your body to improve energy flow. Explore the places other than your penis: where do you feel a connection between your genitals and other body parts? Where is your pleasure most concentrated? The focus is always alternating on your genitals and then on the rest of your body. 

Can I cum with mindful masturbation?

In mindful masturbation, the goal is not to orgasm, it's about the journey to the top, not the top itself. But I certainly wouldn't be dogmatic about that. If you feel like ejaculating at the end, just do it nicely. It's your party! Do try to delay ejaculation for as long as possible, while getting into an orgasmic state. So you look for the edge in the transition from orgasm to ejaculation. You can do this by taking a breather or by avoiding the specific type of stimulation that you know you will come off quickly. You can also breathe deeper. Bring the energy from your genitals to your chest.

“When men extend their orgasm to their chest, they can feel full and satisfied. It frees them from the need to ejaculate quickly and puts you in a deep state of satisfaction. ”

Moshe Weizman, sexological bodyworker

Can I get guidance in mindful masturbation?