Categories: Question and answer

Dealing with stress

Many people suffer from stress on a regular basis. If you suffer from this, then you are certainly not the only one.

You may have a stomachache before an interview, an important presentation or after a difficult meeting. A rushed feeling, palpitations and a short fuse are signs of stress.

These examples of temporary stress are actually very normal body reactions to a challenging or stressful situation, which usually disappear after a few hours. This natural survival mechanism keeps you on your toes and makes sure you spring into action. 

If stress occurs more often, the consequences can be serious and you may suffer from physical and mental complaints. Mentally you can think of worrying, insomnia, less self-confidence or feelings of panic. And physical complaints such as headaches, palpitations, trembling and stomach pain and even a lowered resistance with inflammation are common consequences. And eventually hope, faith and trust disappear from your life. 

It is therefore good if you learn to recognize these physical signals, because your body does not sound the bell for nothing. So it's time to take a break or build in some rest.

How do I recognize stress in myself?

By taking a moment to feel inside, into your body. Check with yourself whether you suffer from:

  • increased heart rate
  • tense jaws or face
  • fast or high breathing
  • ​chest pressure

Can mindfulness help with stress?

Mindfulness exercises can help bring you more into your body and take control of your thoughts. For example, if you worry a lot about things that could go wrong or have negative thoughts about yourself. These mindfulness tips can help you:

  • Let go of any judgment about yourself and others.
  • Observe what is happening in your environment.
  • Use your senses: consciously looking, smelling, listening and feeling.
  • Focus on this moment, this place.
  • Listen to your body's signals.
  • Observe the thoughts and feelings that arise as an outsider.
  • Accept that new thoughts keep coming, but don't hold on to them.
  • Keep your attention focused on your body and your breathing.

Ik find it difficult to meditate but would you rather go outside. Is that also effective against stress?

Exercising, especially outside in nature, is a very good remedy for stress. Being outside in a natural environment immediately reduces your stress level. Movement also helps very effectively, because it brings your attention out of your head and into your body. Therefore, make use of the increasing range of care, sports, yoga and exercise outside in the green. 

What signals indicate that I am under too much stress?

Don't you sleep a wink at night because it's so busy at work? Or do you already start your working day with a stomachache, trembling hands or eyes? Then it's time to do something about it. Perhaps more is being asked of you right now than you think you can handle. It is especially important if you are not feeling well, suffer from anxiety, insomnia or sadness, or if you are facing overstrain or a burnout. I am happy to help you deal with stress differently and to let go of your tense string and find a better balance.

Goodbye Facebook

A small handful of multinationals dominate the Dutch communication landscape. This makes it increasingly difficult to freely share and collect information. Like any Dutch person, I have been put in a box and only receive information that fits within my existing interests and views. I think this is detrimental to the public debate and our democracy.

Companies like Facebook not only use revenue models in which information about the user is traded. Increasingly, they also offer opportunities to influence user behavior.

The recent violence in the US and the Netherlands and the way in which Facebook is currently used by political parties has made me decide not to contribute to this anymore. I am leaving Facebook.

If you want to know how I am doing, feel free to drop by. Send an email to tijsb@yahoo.com. By the way, I can still be reached via Whatsapp, but I prefer iMessage, Signal or Telegram.

Is there a link between social media use and depression?

Due to the large number of users, there are now many studies that focus on the relationship between social media use and mental health. We now know social media use is associated with symptoms of depression. For example, a sample of 4519 young people (11 to 18 years) shows that compulsive use of social media on the smartphone leads to more impulsivity and more depressive symptoms (Haverlag, D., 2013, Utrecht University).

It also appears that young people with low psychosocial well-being (depressive complaints, social anxiety, lonely, low life satisfaction and low self-confidence) are more likely to use social media compulsively (Keijsers, SGJ, 2013, Utrecht University). Women in particular spend more time on social media and therefore experience more depressive complaints (Feldkamp, ​​N. (2018, University of Twente).

Do social media make you lonely?

Yes, as contradictory as this may sound, social media creates a negative sense of social isolation. In the book "Wrongly connected" Cees Zwijstra explains why social media makes us lonely and how you can prevent this.

According to Zwijnstra, superficial contacts tend to lead to a feeling of loneliness. Social media is a tool for connecting with others. The degree of presence is only much weaker than when you meet someone physically. The more present the other is, the more involvement we feel for each other and the less lonely you feel.

So visit each other or look at each other, if necessary via Skype or Zoom. Then you feel more connected than via the Facebook newsfeed.

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Newsletter “Points of light in dark days” - December 2020

You can find the original of this newsletter at Mailchimp. You can too register here for the newsletter. Then you will immediately receive a discount coupon for your next treatment.

Tonight is the longest night… This turning point in nature is always a special moment for me to reflect on. We are now furthest from the sun. We are closest to the dark side in ourselves. 

I would like to wish you a nice Christmas and New Year's time in this way. Hopefully surrounded by love and warmth. And hopefully we will keep in touch, also in the new year.
YOU CAN READ THIS NEWSLETTER IN ENGLISH OR OTHER LANGUAGES
This morning I noticed again how much peace it gives to be in the dark. The dark offers us the opportunity to look at the dark sides within ourselves. I look at myself, at my dark side, the habits, thoughts and patterns that I would rather not see. My dreams this morning gave me a glimpse into those unconscious and peculiar bits of myself, my rude needs and desires. For me, for example, this is the need to be surrounded by people all the time, the tendency to “be useful” and therefore to plan my agenda. Watching this dark part of myself is educational. It makes me accept myself with everything that goes with it. And it awakens the longing for light and liberation in me. For example my desire for timelessness, useless enjoyment, surrender in the moment, and also feeling connected to others when I am alone. The more I become aware of my dark side, the more space I can give to this light.
Solstice spiral
On December 23rd from 15:30 pm, I lay a Yule solstice spiral. When you walk into the spiral, you walk within yourself, into the earth, to your darkest point. There is a candle, the bright spot you can find in the dark. This light can be felt in yourself, you carry it out with you and you can share this light with others. Feel free to come by to design your own ritual. Time: between 15:30 pm and 18:30 pm. Location: in the garden of the Huisje Land van Dromen. Address: Westbroekse Binnenweg, 20, Tienhoven (Ut). 
No massages during lockdown
The Netherlands is in lockdown again, at least until Tuesday 19 January 2021. Contact professions such as giving a relaxation massage, bodywork or tantra session are not allowed. My practice is therefore largely closed. I do give coaching and mindfulness sessions, online sessions (including meditation, tantra and self-touch) and online workshops. Read more…

Free home visit
During the lockdown we are asked to stay at home as much as possible. For regular customers I temporarily offer (until February 8, 2021) the possibility for a treatment at your home (e.g. a coaching session or, when this is allowed again, body work or massage). This offer applies to home visits within a maximum travel distance of 30 minutes. Do you live further away? Please contact us to discuss what is reasonable. Read more…

Online meditations
The most popular guided meditation and meditation music app is InsightTimer. You will also find Dutch meditations of mine. Follow me through this link or search for Tijs Breuer in the app. In this way you can listen to my voice to create a moment of rest for yourself.
Every second Sunday of the month at 20:00 PM I provide a guided sitting meditation in my living room and via Zoom under the heading “City lighting”. Research shows that when groups of people are regularly quiet together, this creates harmony and flow in the group and beyond. Urban lighting is an initiative to stimulate a culture of lighting. Everywhere in the country people open their living room for meditation or meeting in silence. After the meditation, at 20:45 PM, you can join an online yoga class provided by Nicholas Wake and then we share our experiences.

I give one every fourth Sunday of the month motion meditation via Zoom, also followed by online yoga. Meditation by sitting still is quite difficult for most people, because we are used to being exposed to stimuli all day long, while your body needs movement. Movement meditation ensures that you quickly regain your peace and that you go in more with your attention. You make an inner journey through an alternation of intensive and subtle movement. You can register your participation for both meditations via the Meetup group “Embodied”. You will also find yoga and breathing lessons provided by my daughter Eva. 
Meetups for men
Fortunately, after the rain, sunshine will come again and hopefully we can touch each other again in some time. Men in particular are sometimes a bit insecure about touching each other. The meetups of MeninTouchNL offer men the opportunity to become familiar with all kinds of contact and touch in a relaxed, safe and playful environment. I am proud that this small-scale initiative with a few men has now reached almost 1000 participants. I am looking forward to organizing workshops and meetups again, such as the massage lessons and practice evenings, the monthly Tantra Journey and YoungMeninTouchNL massage class. New are the meetups “Playful movement & Touch” in Amsterdam and “Movement and touch for Krasse Knarren” in Tienhoven. On my website you can get a “strip card”For 7 meetups. 
Gift certificate with extra discount
Do you want to make a friend, colleague or loved one happy with a special gift? And at the same time help me through the lockdown? You can now temporarily with a discount of up to € 27,00 via my booking site purchase a gift certificate. Then you can also send an email (reply to this email) or a donation to do. A gift voucher of € 67,00 costs € 50,00 A gift voucher of € 85,00 costs € 60,00 A gift voucher of € 117,00 costs € 90,00.

Massages are allowed again, although the lockdown has been extended again

UPDATE COVID-19 - March 3, 2021

GOOD NEWS! Since March 3, 2021, the practice has been fully opened again, also for massage, bodywork and tantra. The lockdownmeasures have been relaxed and contact professions are allowed again. The precautionary measures continue to apply.

UPDATE COVID-19 - February 2, 2021

All current measures will remain in effect for the time being, at least until March 2, 2021. After that, massages, bodywork and tantra sessions may be given again. So wait and see again. Read below: “Coaching allowed”.

UPDATE COVID-19 - January 12, 2021

The strict lockdown in the Netherlands has been extended by three weeks until February 9, 2020. Because contact professions are closed, no treatments with massage, bodywork or tantra can be given. The practice remains open for intake interviews, coaching, online sessions and mindfulness.

UPDATE COVID-December 19 - December 15, 2020

The coronavirus is spreading rapidly again. In recent weeks, we have seen a rapid increase in the number of infections, to around 9.000 per day. That is why the Netherlands will be in the strictest lockdown to date during the Christmas period - from Tuesday December 15, 2020 to Tuesday January 19, 2021. Contact professions such as giving a relaxation massage, bodywork or tantra session are again not allowed. The practice is therefore largely closed, with the exception of coaching sessions.

Coaching is allowed

Coaching does not fall under the contact professions. Even if contact professions are closed during the lockdown, coaching sessions can still be given. In all forms of coaching (such as life coaching, leadership coaching, stress or burn-out coaching, business-oriented coaching) the general Corona measures.

Also one home visit possible and temporarily free during the lockdown (max 30 min travel time). It is then mandatory to use a face mask to carry. Also continues Online Coaching of hiking coaching (outdoors) possible. A physical distance does not necessarily mean a mental distance.

The Dutch Association of Professional Coaches (NOBCO) has one infographic “safe to the coach” composed for coaching in corona time. 

What is the added value of online coaching today?

Tijs Breuer “In practice I see many people struggling with loneliness, this has been reinforced as a result of the Corona crisis. There is also an increase in career questions, many people are looking for a different job. Managers are looking for a different leadership style, because how do you lead and motivate employees when everyone works from home? Many clients also run into relationship issues, especially now that you are less able to avoid working from home. ”

Update Coronavirus COVID-19

Since September 28, 2020, a number of additional measures have been taken in Tijs Breuer's practice to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus during the “second wave”. Read more about the latest changes here.

Being healthy and staying healthy is more important than ever in this period. That massage contributes to your health is also recognized by the government. Contact professions such as masseurs can also continue to do their work during the “partial lockdown”. So you are still very welcome in the near future. Together we provide a safe setting.

Offer: home visit up to 30 km for free

A temporary increase in the partial lockdown will be in effect in the Netherlands between 2 and 17 November 2020. The motto for this period is: stay at home as much as possible and avoid unnecessary travel. Regular customers can take advantage of the following offer: Free home visit.

Have you forgotten to bring a mouth mask? No problem, you will receive a disposable mouth cap upon arrival.

Workshops and Meetups

No live workshops or meetups will be organized in the months of October and November 2020. Some meetings are postponed, others go online, such as the meditation evenings. More information can be found in the groups Embodied en MeninTouchNL op Meetup.com.

Mouth masks

Since September 30, 2020, there is an urgent recommendation in the Netherlands for all people from the age of 13 to wear (non-medical) masks in publicly accessible indoor spaces. A legal obligation is in the making.

For contact professions in the field of beauty care or aimed at physical contact (such as massage, bodywork and tantra), a mouth mask has been strongly recommended for a long time, for both the service provider and the customer.

Since 11 May I have been wearing a face mask myself and I am leaving disposable face masks to clients who want to wear this. September 30 is my policy (and house rules), in line with government policy. Wearing a mouth mask is now also mandatory for clients in practice. You can choose from a disposable mouth mask, a cotton mouth mask that is washed at a high temperature or bring your own mouth pack. .

Measure temperature

In addition to the health check, your temperature is now also measured upon arrival. Not everyone infected with the Coronavirus has a temperature increase. But many complaints are clearly noticeable and not everyone is aware of a fever. According to a recent Taiwanese study, it turned out that about 33% of the 321 infected people had the virus detected thanks to temperature measurement. Screening for temperature rises is therefore not a 100% watertight system, but it is indeed useful, the researchers believe.

Splashback

Do you belong to one risk group for COVID-19? Then you may be a bit more concerned about getting infected. To further reduce the risks of contamination, an extra measure can be applied at your request: the splash guard. I have a specially designed splash screen for massage tables. The screen can be placed on the massage table over your neck. Your head is on one side of the splash screen and I stay on the other side of the screen while giving the massage.

Ventilation

Recently, the ventilation in my practice room at home has been improved. Good ventilation is important for a healthy indoor climate. Ventilation also helps to limit the transmission of respiratory infections such as COVID-19. That is why I installed mechanical ventilation on the advice of the RIVM. It is still unknown to what extent ventilation (air exchange) actually helps to prevent the transmission of COVID-19. That is why it remains important, in addition to good ventilation, to observe general advice, such as disinfecting the room, washing hands, staying at home and having it tested in case of complaints.

Medicine wheel and heart circle

Medicine wheel ritual and heart circle.
Date: October 18, 2020. Start: 14:00 h. End: 17:00 h. Location: Het Huisje “Land van Dromen”. Address: Westbroekse Binnenweg 20; 3612 AH Tienhoven (Utrecht).
Route: Navigate to SpaSereen. Free parking in front of the door. Public transport: U-flex bus, SpaSereen stop.

https://www.meetup.com/MenintouchNL/events/273609030/

An afternoon of reflection and connection, together creating a ritual that gives us new energy and inner peace. The medicine wheel is a circle of knowledge that encompasses the whole and the completeness of life. We make a circle of stones, where each stone represents a different aspect of life and can be associated with a person we love or a sub-personality of ourselves.

When you enter the space, you can reflect on these aspects, talk to your inner self, or make spiritual contact with a person who is not there. The medicine wheel is a space for healing and a spiritual compass. The person entering the circle has an internal dialogue, like a circular pool of water in which we see ourselves reflected. The other participants are witnesses to your inner process.

After creating this ritual we will drink tea / coffee and snacks inside (bring your homemade soup, salad, biscuits or some fruit to share).

At the wood fire we have a heart circle. A partial circle offers the possibility that every voice is heard, respected and appreciated. When you share what's going on inside you, what your dilemmas and struggles are, something magical happens. If you share what really lives in your heart, it turns out that we can recognize so much in each other.

This meeting is organized by Gerard Meijerink and Tijs Breuer in honor of and in memory of Wim Pas (farm name: Wings), who passed away in February 2020. We share his passion for true and deep masculine brotherhood. This meetup is a co-creation, you can leave a voluntary contribution for renting the space.

Registration via Meetup: https://www.meetup.com/MenintouchNL/events/273609030/

Risk groups COVID-19

Am I in a risk group for COVID-19?
People who belong to a risk group for the Coronavirus have an increased risk of a serious course of the disease if they are infected with COVID-19.

Persons over 70 years old
People over 70 have an increased risk of serious COVID-19 course. Vulnerable elderly people who struggle to maintain their independence are more at risk than vital elderly people. So do you exercise a lot in your old age? Then the risk of ending up on Intesive Care is a lot smaller. Vulnerability increases with age and can manifest itself in various areas. For example, one vulnerable elderly person needs help with physical care, the other with organizing daily activities.

Overweight
Obesity increases the risk of a more serious course of COVID-19. An important explanation for this is the large amount of belly fat, which unbalances the immune system. Many corona patients admitted to intensive care (IC) are overweight. Of the IC patients in the Netherlands with COVID-19, 77 percent is overweight (BMI from 25) and 30 percent is obese (BMI from 30).

Underlying suffering
Adults with certain underlying diseases and conditions are at greater risk of a serious course of COVID-19.
It concerns adults with:

  • chronic abnormalities and functional disorders of the airways and lungs that are under the treatment of a pulmonologist due to their severity;
  • a chronic disorder of the heart function, which makes them eligible for the flu shot;
  • diabetes mellitus: poorly controlled diabetes or diabetes with secondary complications;
  • severe kidney disease leading to dialysis or kidney transplant;
  • reduced resistance to infections due to medication for autoimmune diseases, after organ or stem cell transplantation, in haematological disorders, in (functional) asplenia
  • in congenital or later in life serious immune disorders that require treatment, or during and within 3 months after chemotherapy and / or radiation in cancer patients;
  • an untreated HIV infection or an HIV infection with a CD4 number <200 / mm3;
  • severe liver disease in Child-Pugh classification B or C;
  • morbid obesity (BMI> 40).

What to do if you belong to a risk group?

If you belong to a risk group, you are probably already more careful and you follow the guidelines of the RIVM carefully. People from risk groups are advised to be extra careful and to follow the measures carefully. It is also extra important for visitors of people who belong to a risk group to follow the basic rules carefully. 

If you belong to a risk group, you can simply have a massage. You can also come by for another session where we come closer than 1,5 meters together, such as coaching, bodywork or a hug treatment. You can also participate in workshops / meetups. However, extra precautions are desirable, in addition to the health check, temperature measurement and wearing a mouth mask by both of us. There is extra good ventilation. You drink tea from your own cup or disposable cup. We can use a splash screen on the massage table. Therefore, please consult in advance if you want to make an appointment for a treatment.

Tears during a treatment

To me, a tear is one of the greatest gifts I receive from my clients. The tear shows me that there is confidence to show something of yourself. Yet many people are shocked or try to suppress tears for as long as possible. I wrote this piece to take away the hesitation and as an invitation to let tears flow and not hold back.

Why do tears often come to my eyes during the treatment?
Many people dread a more intimate massage, in-depth treatment or body work because they fear the tears that may come. A tidal wave of tears can be confusing, because you enjoy the massage and yet sorrow suddenly emerges. "I'm not a crybaby," you say to yourself. But by doing so you are depriving yourself and perhaps you let yourself be guided too much by (old) social views.

Is crying during a session healthy?
New insights show that crying is very healthy. And that a tear indicates the release of old tensions in your body and mind. The limbic system in our brain controls our emotions, responses to stimuli, behavior and memories. "When the nerve endings in our tissues are stimulated, it is not uncommon for this to release stuck emotional memories, even when you may not feel a sense of trauma or sadness," said Amy Olthoff, director of Spa Nalai in New York.

Is it normal for me to cry every time I get a massage?
You can rest assured that you will not be the first person to cry on the table, nor will you be the last. This is a very normal reaction, especially if you are occasionally stressed, tense or have been through difficult moments. The relaxation space in your body and mind ensures that there is a release of recorded feelings, whether this is sadness, anger or excitement. That pent-up emotion often lets go in the form of tears.

Being vulnerable is quite scary, especially in an unfamiliar environment and with a therapist you may not have met before. But although it can be quite intense to get to your feelings, it can be a very healing experience, after which you feel a lot lighter.

What can help me with this?
Whether you are coming for a massage, body work, or another treatment, it is a good idea to share a bit about how you are, your emotional state, and your concerns before starting the treatment. This ensures that as a practitioner I can be with you with more empathy and full attention and that I have the right attitude to help you the best. This can be in the form of a non-judgmental touch and attitude during your vulnerable moments. Sometimes you feel a bit confused after a treatment. This is because your thoughts and feelings are rearranged, which ultimately leads to greater clarity of mind.

What do you do when someone has tears?
Many therapists offer a tissue and then leave the client alone for a while. I myself stay with you and I keep eye contact. In this way I can empathize with what you feel, because “shared sorrow is half sorrow”.
Words are not always needed, they often come later. Instead of asking questions, I often look around and in the tears to see what small or large patterns the tears want to reveal. Because not all tears are the same. The human body produces three types: basal tears, which form an oily layer over the eyeball to keep it from drying out; reflexes, which appear when an eye is irritated by, for example, dust particles or the juice of a sliced ​​onion; and psychogenic, which are rejected for emotional reasons. Because emotional tears have a higher protein content, they are thicker and roll down your cheek more slowly.

Why do we often have to cry and laugh at the same time, but can't we cry and sing at the same time?
In the recently translated “The Book of Tears” by Heather Christle attention is paid to this. The book is a must, because even if no unambiguous answers are given, plenty of space is given to the beauty of tears. Heather also explains that it is nearly impossible to sing and cry at the same time. "The throat muscles cannot simultaneously obey the command to form notes and the command to hold themselves open to maximize oxygen uptake, a command that unconsciously triggers crying." That's why Heather Chrisle comes to the conclusion that the opposite of crying isn't laughter, it's singing. "Both extremes are valuable moments, when you need to sing and the moments when your voice breaks and a tear appears."

Sometimes there are no words for it
One of Heather Chrisle's valuable insights is that crying marks a limit: Crying occurs when people have reached the limit of what can be said in words and what they can control themselves. This does not mean that their words up to that point are necessarily good or true or can be trusted. But it does mean that a “breaking point” has been reached. It means it is time to pay attention to the systems and feelings the tears refer to.

Burnout symptoms and loneliness often go together.

What do burnout and loneliness have to do with each other?
With many people who suffer from burnout symptoms, I see that they also feel very alone and lonely. If you are facing a burnout, you will indeed experience little warmth, love and cosiness. You feel trapped in your own world.

The worse the burnout, the more severe the physical symptoms, so that you can literally feel physically cold. If you are single or very committed to your job, you probably have little physical contact. Certainly at a time when the corona virus is forcing us to stand together more, this can worsen. Little touch and emotional / social distance can eventually break you up, because loving attention and physical touch are essential to our well-being.

Do you feel like the ground has been washed away from under your feet? Then it is time to create peace and security. Let go of all social obligations, you are now in first place yourself.

Why is it good to withdraw?
Burnout symptoms are signs that you have let yourself down recently. Working too hard and running over yourself is not very loving to yourself. Instead of taking good care of yourself and listening to your body, you have started living a goal and result-oriented life. It was important to conform to the opinions, judgments and standards of your environment and your own beliefs about what others expect of you.

When you are cold and feel alone, there is a tendency to seek out company. Do not do that. To make sure you give all your attention to yourself and not to others, it is good to withdraw from your social networks. Much of your social circle has appreciated you for your unbridled commitment. They will not understand why you are so passive now. Or they come up with all kinds of advice to pick up the thread again. Many cannot deal with your cocoon, which is necessary for the transformation into your new me. Others are shocked or want to help you, but also expect something in return. You are no longer the same as before, which is difficult for many to understand. You will therefore run into walls of incomprehension. Some people see you as weak or condemn your passivity.

Feeling lonely is not pleasant, but it is clear. You now know exactly who you may or may not benefit from. The fact that you feel alone is in itself nothing wrong with that. That is exactly what it takes to experience emptiness. Because only in silence can you hear yourself.

So make sure that as few people as possible come to talk to you. No matter how well-meaning their efforts to get you up and running, it doesn't help. It is better to provide as few disruptive stimuli as possible. So that you can listen in and feel all the feelings that may be felt in your inner world.

There may be one or two people who can support you, even if you can't give them back now. A dear friend, neighbor or family member who doesn't feel sorry for you, but who can listen or be with you in silence. Who can see you in your unique beauty for who you are, not for what you have achieved. They genuinely want the best for you and don't need anything from you. Dare to ask them for a hug or a listening ear.

What do I do when I'm alone?
Don't do anything. First, take a rest and retreat. Lie in the fetal position on the bed regularly, until you notice that your heart rate is slowing down and you feel a drop. The worse the burnout symptoms, and the more you get through it, the more sleep you need. If you have been sleeping badly for a longer time, do meditation exercises that are aimed at falling asleep. You may feel that you are on the edge of the abyss. You want to cling to something, but that is no longer possible. The only thing to do is to let you fall into the abyss. Let go of everything. The only thing that helps now is pause. So that you stand still and can surrender yourself to the void. In the silence with yourself, answers and insights will come again, which can lead you to your new self.

How can I make me feel warm and enveloped in love again?
That seclusion can feel very cold and chilly. Without self-love you are not going to get warm. So it's time to really take care of yourself, like you would take care of your loved one or your child. The way back requires you to learn to listen to your body, follow your heart and stand for yourself. The way you put your arms around someone dear to you, you can say to yourself that you are good just the way you are, that everything is good and safe and that nothing is necessary. Just touch yourself lovingly. That may seem unnatural, but it can really change how you experience yourself.

A loving physical touch is very important in your burnout recovery. If you can't find this in a relationship or friendship, don't be shy about going to a professional body-centered therapist or masseur for that much-needed touch. A hug, massage or other form of touch brings you back into contact with your body. Moreover, touch ensures the production of hormones that make you relax and feel good.

To continue, you first have to go through a deep valley. Burnout coaching can help you to climb down into the deep valley. Then you will find your way up again under your own power, via unexpected small winding paths.