Burnout symptoms and loneliness often go together.

What do burnout and loneliness have to do with each other?
With many people who suffer from burnout symptoms, I see that they also feel very alone and lonely. If you are facing a burnout, you will indeed experience little warmth, love and cosiness. You feel trapped in your own world.

The worse the burnout, the more severe the physical symptoms, so that you can literally feel physically cold. If you are single or very committed to your job, you probably have little physical contact. Certainly at a time when the corona virus is forcing us to stand together more, this can worsen. Little touch and emotional / social distance can eventually break you up, because loving attention and physical touch are essential to our well-being.

Do you feel like the ground has been washed away from under your feet? Then it is time to create peace and security. Let go of all social obligations, you are now in first place yourself.

Why is it good to withdraw?
Burnout symptoms are signs that you have let yourself down recently. Working too hard and running over yourself is not very loving to yourself. Instead of taking good care of yourself and listening to your body, you have started living a goal and result-oriented life. It was important to conform to the opinions, judgments and standards of your environment and your own beliefs about what others expect of you.

When you are cold and feel alone, there is a tendency to seek out company. Do not do that. To make sure you give all your attention to yourself and not to others, it is good to withdraw from your social networks. Much of your social circle has appreciated you for your unbridled commitment. They will not understand why you are so passive now. Or they come up with all kinds of advice to pick up the thread again. Many cannot deal with your cocoon, which is necessary for the transformation into your new me. Others are shocked or want to help you, but also expect something in return. You are no longer the same as before, which is difficult for many to understand. You will therefore run into walls of incomprehension. Some people see you as weak or condemn your passivity.

Feeling lonely is not pleasant, but it is clear. You now know exactly who you may or may not benefit from. The fact that you feel alone is in itself nothing wrong with that. That is exactly what it takes to experience emptiness. Because only in silence can you hear yourself.

So make sure that as few people as possible come to talk to you. No matter how well-meaning their efforts to get you up and running, it doesn't help. It is better to provide as few disruptive stimuli as possible. So that you can listen in and feel all the feelings that may be felt in your inner world.

There may be one or two people who can support you, even if you can't give them back now. A dear friend, neighbor or family member who doesn't feel sorry for you, but who can listen or be with you in silence. Who can see you in your unique beauty for who you are, not for what you have achieved. They genuinely want the best for you and don't need anything from you. Dare to ask them for a hug or a listening ear.

What do I do when I'm alone?
Don't do anything. First, take a rest and retreat. Lie in the fetal position on the bed regularly, until you notice that your heart rate is slowing down and you feel a drop. The worse the burnout symptoms, and the more you get through it, the more sleep you need. If you have been sleeping badly for a longer time, do meditation exercises that are aimed at falling asleep. You may feel that you are on the edge of the abyss. You want to cling to something, but that is no longer possible. The only thing to do is to let you fall into the abyss. Let go of everything. The only thing that helps now is pause. So that you stand still and can surrender yourself to the void. In the silence with yourself, answers and insights will come again, which can lead you to your new self.

How can I make me feel warm and enveloped in love again?
That seclusion can feel very cold and chilly. Without self-love you are not going to get warm. So it's time to really take care of yourself, like you would take care of your loved one or your child. The way back requires you to learn to listen to your body, follow your heart and stand for yourself. The way you put your arms around someone dear to you, you can say to yourself that you are good just the way you are, that everything is good and safe and that nothing is necessary. Just touch yourself lovingly. That may seem unnatural, but it can really change how you experience yourself.

A loving physical touch is very important in your burnout recovery. If you can't find this in a relationship or friendship, don't be shy about going to a professional body-centered therapist or masseur for that much-needed touch. A hug, massage or other form of touch brings you back into contact with your body. Moreover, touch ensures the production of hormones that make you relax and feel good.

To continue, you first have to go through a deep valley. Burnout coaching can help you to climb down into the deep valley. Then you will find your way up again under your own power, via unexpected small winding paths.

Published by

Tijs

Tijs Breuer is 52 years old, a certified personal coach, body worker and masseur. Essence coaching is aimed at getting you to the core of who you really are. Tijs works with personal attention, touch and presence. It helps you to feel better about yourself.

3 thoughts on “Burnout Symptoms and Loneliness Often Go Together.”

  1. How beautifully written, Tijs! Gives me the feeling that I do not have to fall down in my loneliness (something that I am very afraid of….)

  2. I do not recognize myself in the description, although I do suffer from burnout symptoms. After reading “do nothing, lie down in the fetal position” I really gave up. This approach is too vague for me.

  3. I did not make any progress with the regular approach to burnout with social work through my company doctor. He just worked through a method that didn't work for me. Once in conversation with Tijs, I notice that I have finally found a key to quietly building up energy and meanwhile being structurally different in my work. Fortunately, my HRM manager also sees an effect and is prepared to reimburse the costs.

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